In this episode, I have Andrea Hoyos share her story about being in an abusive relationship. We talk about the emotional abuse she endured as we often don’t talk about this when we refer to abusive relationships. Emotional abuse can include insulting, blaming, belittling, withholding affection, criticizing, threatening, gaslighting, humiliating or stonewalling to gain and maintain power and control in the relationship. It can be challenging and scary to fully embrace the truth about being in a relationship with an abusive partner and I am glad that Andrea provides insight to listeners. While we talk about the hard stuff we also talk about her life after being in an abusive relationship. Andrea discovers more about herself and comes back stronger. She shares lighthearted stories about her dating life and shares some thoughtful advice.
Andrea is an interior designer turned people leader. She is the founder of ICMTSU (I can’t make this shit up), a blog where she shares life lessons, dating advice, and a lot of laughable moments she has experienced in the dating scene. Andrea plans to launch her own podcast where she will discuss things like dating stories, relationship advice, online dating, being single in a digital era and all things in between.
In this episode we cover
- Andrea shares her experience being in an abusive relationship.
- Playing the Fixer of the relationship
- Andrea shares how she tended to date people and played the “fixer” of the relationship.
- Not being able to change someone..
- Gaslighting behaviors
- Feeling vulnerable during an abusive relationship.
- Support during the abusive relationship
- Why she had a difficult time leaving the relationship.
- Dealing with grief after a toxic relationship.
- Moving on and getting back to dating
- Andrea’s experience with online dating
- Dealing with rejection with online dating.
- Her interesting story involving a date with a Lyft driver.
- Other (lighthearted) stories of Andrea’s online dating experiences.
- Andrea share’s some great dating advice.
- Andrea talks staying true to yourself and being vulnerable
Guest Contact:
Are you currently in an emotionally abusive relationship? Do you feel you constantly attract men who are no good for you? Talking to a therapist can be helpful. If you are interested in Therapy with Monica Click Here.
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Resources: If you’re looking for additional tips after listening to this episode, I’ve gathered the following resources for you. As always, please research, read, and listen at your own discretion.
Books
- Gaslighting: The Narcissist’s favorite tool of Manipulation – How to avoid the Gaslight Effect and Recovery from Emotional and Narcissistic Abuse by Dr.Theresa J. Covert
- Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Podcasts:
Signs you’re dealing with a toxic person and what to do about it